you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
