God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
