So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
