The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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