Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
