there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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