He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
