"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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