what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I need a beard to bite.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
