how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
