My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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