i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
