she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
