Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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