ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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