i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
