When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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