this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
