Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That accounts for only three of the penises
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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