I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
