i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My balls are so social today.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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