I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
