More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
