You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I need to calm my uterus...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize