got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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