'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
