Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
false alarm, still single
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
