we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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