I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
