well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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