what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
