He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
