He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I intend to get homeless drunk
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
