My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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