Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
