I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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