You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
