I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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