Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
