vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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