Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
