after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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