As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
