The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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