her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
