I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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