dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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