We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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