It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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