This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
