Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
