are you so shy because you have an std?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
